I reported last night that Kari felt wetness on her hand. Upon closer questioning this morning Linda reports that, in fact, she only saw the wetness and didn't feel it. It's hard to know what to report, and, as I said in an earlier update, if our foundation hope is in God, then we can better keep possible progress, even possible setbacks, in perspective. Now this morning Kari was having trouble getting comfortable in bed. She said, in fact, that her lower back hurt. Well, how are we to interpret this? Did she really feel her lower back, something she hasn't been able to do so far. Or is she reporting a general feeling of discomfort and imagining that it is centered in her lower back? Let's hope that her lower back "hurts," even though that's uncomfortable, but it's hard to tell right now.
What's easier to see is the medical stuff. Her fever appears to be gone, and though she has asked to be suctioned several times this morning, her lungs are clearer than they have been in days. Then again, this condition is one that may go back and forth for weeks. Also easier to "see" is her mood. This morning she was having trouble breathing, due mainly to what might be a mild anxiety attack. She's growing impatient--not entirely a bad thing--wants to move on and wishes she could get up and run around the room. We all wish that too, Kari. Linda asked, Do you feel like screaming sometimes? Sure enough, she did. In those early days right after surgery she would say, "I want to get up...Now!" One of her nurses replied, "Oh, you'll be getting up plenty in a few weeks." Rehab will be so difficult she's going to wish she could lay down more, but this waiting time in between is getting harder for her. Let's hope she starts soon...Now! But in the mean time, please pray that she can relax and that the growing anxieties about the present and future might be soothed. Easy enough to say, for sure, but how else can we pray? I kept saying in those first days after the accident, "Relax. Don't fight the tube. Don't fight the ventilator--just go with it." Again, really easy to say. Her fighting spirit is great, but it has some offshoots--like impatience, like anxiety--that are hard to deal with.
--Richard R. Guzman