Friday, May 23, 2008

It's Raining...It's Pouring

So Cal has been getting it's share of crazy weather. Yesterday evening, after a rainy day, I was rolling into the auditorium of Aaron's school for one of his concerts. I noticed the very dark stormy sky and felt very cold gusts of air. I thought, "This feels like tornado weather!" But when was the last time So Cal had a tornado?? During the concert (which was quite enjoyable), it started thundering, lightning, and RAINING!! After about 20 minutes it stopped, the evening sun came out and it was beautiful. When we got home we turned on the news and sure enough two tornadoes touched down about 20 miles away. Crazy. It also snowed in the mountains, hailed in LA (they thought it was snow...how cute), mudslides in the foothills, and flooded everything.

Metaphorically speaking, it has been very similar to the last 3 days of my life. Without going into details of my own storm...the end result is...I fired my caretaker about 2 hours ago. I've never been in a position to fire someone. I don't like it. I hate it. I don't want to be a boss. I don't want someone depending on us for a job. I hate BEING "the job."

And now I get to hire someone else who will depend on us for a job. And I will be her boss. And I'll probably get attached to her and care about her like I always do. And then in a year or so, I may have to do it again...and then again...and again.

Pray that God will bring us the right person who can handle me..."the job".
Or pray for a miracle to happen in my spinal cord so we don't need to hire anyone.
Pray that on days like this, I can feel like a human being...and not "the job".

2 comments:

Cerise said...

Brave Kari for effecting change in your life, and dealing with the firestorm before and after. Good for you, love. There is literally nothing I can say to you about feeling like "a job". I wish there were, but this is when friends have to step back and bear witness to your struggle. I know you'll prevail.

I love you, Kari - you've enriched my heart and thought life tremendously. You're such a good friend to me and so many others. I'm pulling for that miracle, personally. Ironic, no?

Nathaniel said...

Hey Kari,

I'm sorry to hear about your struggle. Any positive news out of it yet? This is one of those times I wish I was single and baby free - you know I'd be there in a heartbeat. Still praying for the miracle too! Hope your days are sunnier...

Much love always,
Joy